Catherine in Green
by N811
Summary: When Catherine realizes that she's in love with her best friend Gil Grissom it may be too late for her, because he found an other woman to love. But after a trrible accident nothing is the same again. Please R&R Rated T in soon coming chapters
1. Chapter 1

Party fever

I'm in love with Gil Grissom. I wouldn't believe it either but over the years it became so natural that I didn't even notice being in love with him.

It begin with innocent thoughts like _He has a cute smile_ or _Man…he's really sexy_. These were thought every woman had from to time. When you walk on the streets and there's a really really good looking guy you think also _He's hot_, but it's not like you're going to jump or marry him the next second. It's just a fact. And that's the same it is with Grissom.

Was. It was this way with Grissom. Now it's different. When he smiles I imagine what it would be like if I woke up next to him and he smiles at me like this. When he sticks his tongue out I want to kiss him senseless. When he bends I want to jump him right there. When he tells me some stupid things about his bugs I can't stop smiling because his eyes shine like the eyes of a little boy who plays with his favourite toy. When I go home I want him to come with me. I want him by my side every time.

The moment I knew I loved him was simply and nothing special. Of course it was special to me but it was nothing spectacular. I was late and ran to the break. Gil was also late and jogged there too to hand out the assignments. He came left around the corner and I right. When we bounced into each other we fell to floor, so that I was buried under him. I felt so hot and when I saw his eyes locked into mine I could swear that I saw desire…and maybe love. My heart jumped up and down I couldn't hear anything else and the butterflies in my stomach turned into planes crashing into each other. He was so shy and nice, like a real gentleman and helped me up. He couldn't look me in the eyes the rest of the day.

Shift's almost over and I'm going to ask him if he wants to go to the Christmas party this weekend with me. He always refuses to go but this year he won't, not if it's a date.

"Hey Catherine, how are ya?" Nick came around the corner; he asks me the whole week if I had a date the party. I smile wildly. Now I have a date, almost, but I'm sure he says yes when I ask him.

"Hey Nicky, really good. You want something?"

"No, not really. But you know the Christmas party is this weekend."

"Yeah I know Nick"

"So, who's gonna be your date?"

"I won't tell you his name. You'll see him at the party."

"Who sees who at which party?"

Gil stood suddenly beside us and looked curios from Nick to me.

"We're going to see Catherine's date at the Christmas party this weekend."

I would have killed him right there and then. But then Gil would be a witness and I had to kill him too. Nick was lucky I loved Gil so much otherwise he would be dead right now.

"Really? You didn't tell me you had a date."

For a second he looked hurt and disappointed but in the next he looked like it didn't matter to him. After Sarah leaved for good we decided to fix our broken friendship and Gil opened up more and more to me. It was as if I had my best friend back again. But then there was a lot more than friendship and I tried harder to fix everything, hoping we would get closer than before.

"I…Nick….he…I mean…he…he didn't quite understand what …what I wanted to say."

"You want to explain it?"

"No…I mean yes, Gil…but…could we speak over breakfast?"

He looked unsure what to say but sensed that I had something important to say.

"I've got no time for breakfast but if you want to speak we could speak in my office. While Nick goes back to work on his case."

Nick looked like the cat that caught the mouse. But when he saw Gil's death glare he vanished in no time.

"Shall we?" Gil asked me and I felt how m knees disappeared. I almost tripled but Gil held me close so I wouldn't fall.

"Everything okay, Cath?"

I loved it when he called me Cath. It was something only he was allowed to. I caught the worried glance he threw me and tried to remember what he had asked me. He was so close I couldn't breathe or think.

"Cath? You okay?"

"Yeah of course. Let's go to you office."

Once there he closed the door and I felt my head spinning. How can he do this without even touching me?

"You never told me you had a date. I thought we wanted to tell us everything, no more secrets. Remember?"

"I know, Gil. But…It isn't the way you think it is."

"I think you have got a date for the Christmas party and haven't told me about him. If you're taking him to the Christmas party where every friend and colleague of us will be it means you're serious with him?"

I could sense that he was uncomfortable. He was jealous and I could smell it. It made me smile thinking about that he must really feel love for me if he was jealous talking about someone who doesn't even exist. But he read my smile wrong.

"So he is special to you. Why didn't you tell me sooner? Is it Brian? The one you went out with some weeks ago?"

"No, Gil! It's not Brian. I told you that I wouldn't continue dating him."

"Then who's this mystery guy?"

_You._ My mind screamed. _You are this mystery guy._ But my mouth said: "Nobody."

"Nobody?"

"Yes. Nobody."

"Ah…I understand. You're embarrassed because you've got no one and instead of telling Nick you lied to him."

"Yeah...kind of."

I could have told him there because he knew there was something I didn't tell him, but he didn't say anything and so didn't I.

"But you know that you have to come with somebody now that you told Nick you had a date."

"Yeah I know."

"You know…you could…I mean…I would…if you want…I….you know…"

"What do you want to say, Gil?"

I don't hear him stutter often but I think it's kind of cute. He does it often when he's nervous. And he's blushing! He is so adorable when he blushes and stutters.

"I mean….maybe we could go together."

"Where?"

"To the party."

My jaw hit the floor and I'm pretty sure I'm dead because my heartbeat was so high I'm sure it just flew away. And it took my breath with it.

"It isn't a real date of course. Just that you're not alone if you don't find someone there. We could go there together and leave together. You don't have to be by my side every time."

Now I'm sure I'm dead. Was this a gentle rejection of him? He wanted us to go as friends but not as lovers.

"Just if you're okay with it. I'm sure you can find a date in no time."

Take what you get Catherine. You can make it a date at the party.

"No, no….I mean yes…I mean...of course I would go with you. It's really nice of you. I didn't even think that you would want to go there."

"Hey, what are friends for? I'm just saving you from a humiliation of Nick."

He smiled again his boyish smile which makes my knees go weak and leaves his office. Said something about a report he needed from Hodges and left.

The party is in three days and till then I'm going to make him mine forever.


	2. Chapter 2

Plan B

I hadn't seen Gil in the last three days. Ecklie needed his help with a case so he worked with the day ship together. When Gil left I arrived and when I left he arrived. I wanted to invite him over for breakfast but neither of us had time. I always knew that Ecklie's cruel but how could he destroy my plan? I wanted to spend so much time with him. And I'm sure we would've made a lot with Lindsey, too. He loves her like his own child. He's just to shy to always came and do something with. But once the two are together nothing can separate them.

But no need to be upset. Today's the party and I look stunning. I bought a new dress. It's red and fits me like a second skin.

"Wow mom. Who do you want kill?"

I jumped nearly a mile when Lindsey entered the room, she shocked me near death.

"What do you mean?"

"You look stunning, breathtaking. I'm sure you're date isn't going to survive this."

"You think?"

"Yeah of course, so tell me. Who is he?"

"I'm going with Gil."

"Gil? Gil Grissom? You mean my uncle Gil?"

I love it when she reveres to him as her 'uncle Gil'.

"Yes."

She took a seat on my bed.

"So you two are finally a couple?"

"Finally?"

"Yeah, I knew you loved him a long time. Every time you speak of him you smile and your eyes shine. And he love's you, too."

"How do know?"

"It's in his eyes his words and actions. I just know it. I'm so happy that you two are a couple now."

"We're not a couple."

"You're not? But it is a date, isn't it?"

"Not quite. He asked me if I wanted to go with him after he found out that I had no date but told Nick I would have one. I wanted to ask him if he would go as my date but Nick destroyed it all."

"Oh mom! I'm sure when he sees you tonight he'll be all over you."

"Lindsey!"

There was a knock on the door. This must be him.

"You're lover's there mom."

"Linds! Open the door! I'm not ready yet."

"But you look more than ready."

"Lindsey!"

"Okay, okay, I'll go and entertain him. But hurry."

"Thanks honey."

She walks out of the room to open the door.

"Uncle Gil!" Lindsey shrieks.

I almost have to love. When she was little he scooped her up every time he saw her. He hadn't stopped. Lindsey always said she didn't want him to; that she was a big girl, but I know that she enjoys it. Gil spoils her every time, and although Lindsey always says she feel like a baby she loves it.

I look one last time in the mirror. Lindsey was right, I really look stunning. Now it's show time.

I walk into the living room where Gil and Lindsey sit on the couch whispering. I wonder what they are whispering about.

"Hey you two. Talking about someone I know?"

"We were just talking about you. Have a nice night you two and uncle Gil? You might want to close your mouth and start breathing again."

Lindsey stopped giving me a kiss on the cheek, looked back at Gil who hasn't stop staring at me, rolled her eyes and vanished back to her room.

"You look good Gil."

He really looks good in his tux. It's black and over the last weeks he has let grow his beard again. He looks delicious. But he still hasn't said anything. I can't believe that I made the gorgeous Gil Grissom speechless.

"Let's go Gil."

He follows me slowly and when I looked back at him I caught him staring at my ass. Yes I was sure. This night he'll become mine.


	3. Chapter 3

Failed

He hadn't said anything till we arrived at the party. Before we went in he hold onto my arm and drew me to him. He looked into my eyes and I thought that he would kiss me.

"You look beautiful. No...I mean you do…but….you're breathtaking, you left me speechless."

"I thought you would drool."

Now he had to laugh. God, how much I love his laugh.

"Yeah I had to fight against it. Shall we go in?"

"I'd love to."

On our way in I scanned the room and tried to remember the places where I've seen mistletoes. Every one of the night and day shift was there. But there were also a lot of people I didn't know. Family members, friends or dates of the other CSIs I guessed.

"Hey Catherine. You look great."

Yeah Catherine, real hot."

"Greg!"

"Sorry Catherine. I'll go back to the bar, met one beautiful girl."

Greg vanished as fast as he came. But Nick stayed with them and looked around.

"Who are you looking for Nick?"

"You're date. Or is Grissom your date?"

I felt myself blushing. If I said yes and Gil didn't think this was a date he would be mad. But if he wished it was one just like me and I'd say no he would be hurt. I had to decide and it must be quick. Gil said himself we would be here as friends.

"No he's not my date, we're just driving together."

I looked to Gil and saw something in his eyes. Hurt. I wanted to hit myself. Of course he wanted this to be a date. His reaction at my home and what he said to me before we got in…he had to feel the same like me. I hope he doesn't think I'm not interested. I have to fix this quickly.

"That's good, because I brought a friend of mine. His name's Henry and I hoped that...you know Cath, you could spend some time with him tonight, maybe you like him. What do you say?"

"You want to couple me and your friend?"

"Yeah."

"I…"

"That's great. I'll bring him to you. Wait here."

"Maybe he's really nice Cath, give him a chance."

I couldn't believe my ears. Gil wanted me to meet him? He really thinks that I'm not interested.

"But I….I'm here with you."

"It's okay. I'll sit at the bar if you need me."

And then he went. He left standing there with Nick who introduced us. I didn't hear what he said but Henry seemed not to be one of those guys who had problems chatting. He talked and talked and talked and wouldn't leave my side. I wanted to ran to Gil, kiss him, tell him I loved him and that Nick was an ass I would kill later.

But at the time I fled from Henry and went to Gil at the bar my heart stopped beating. He sat there, laughing and drinking with a beautiful woman. She had blond hair, a good figure and tall legs; and they seemed to get along really well.

Her dress was dark blue and similar to my dress. A lot of her back was exposed and her long curly hair hang lose around her shoulders. This was woman was laughing and drinking with _my_ man.

I couldn't think it would get more terrible but then suddenly she laid her hand on Gils shoulder when she laughed about something he said. He told her something and she seemed to listen while her hand stroke his arm and she laid it on his tight.

I was so angry and hurt, this is how it feels to be jealous. How could he came here with me and flirt with this woman. _You told him it was not a date, you didn't say no to Henry and you never told that you see him as 'your' man._ I didn't want to hear this stupid voice in my head but I knew that it was right.

While I was standing there I heard that the band began to play a new song. Our song. The song that Gil and I claimed for us when we first met. This was my chance, I would ask him to dance, he had to say yes, and then I wouldn't let him go back to her. I walked to him but at the same moment the blond whispered something in his ear and he stood up, holding his hand out for her. She took it and they went to the dance floor.

This was the most horrible night in my life. I just wanted to go home. While Rufus Wainwright sang the first chorus of Hallelujah Gil drew the woman nearer to him and she laid one hand on his chest and her head on his shoulder.

I had to get out of here. I couldn't watch this any longer. I stormed out of the room while my heart broke into billion peaces and fought against the tears that wanted so desperately to fall.


	4. Chapter 4

Busted

„Catherine?"

Oh no, I didn't want anybody near me. And the last person I wanted to see was Nick.

"Go away Nick."

"Have you been crying?"

"NO!"

"Cath…what's wrong?"

"Nothing Nick, go away."

"I'm not going to leave you alone. If you want me gone I'll call Grissom."

"NO! Please don't call Grissom. I don't want to see him."

"What has he done?"

"Nothing. That's the problem Nick. He did nothing. It's all my fault."

"And what did you do?"

"Nothing."

"So you're crying because nothing happened?"

"Yes."

I couldn't stop the tears; I didn't want Nick to see me like this.

"Do you want to enlighten me?"

"No."

"Okay. But I think I know what's wrong."

"And what is wrong?"

"You're jealous."

"I'm not jealous."

"Yes. You are jealous. Because Grissom may be a bit drunk and Bethany Ecklie has set her beautiful green eyes on him. Am I right?"

"Yeah…Bethany Ecklie?"

"She's Ecklie's sister."

"You're kidding."

"No, no…Ecklie himself introduced the two."

"So it's all Ecklie's fault?"

"Like always."

"I hate him."

"We all hate him. Especially Grissom."

"But he seems to like his sister a lot."

"He's drunk and lonely. What do you think he should do? Bethany is beautiful and they seem to get along quiet well. Since Sarah's gone he has just Hank when he goes home. He pulls double and triple shifts so he doesn't have to go home. He's alone Cath. You know Grissom. You wants us all to believe that's he's tough but he's human like the rest us. He just wants someone to be with. And every time he has the guts to ask you out there is some man who you're going out with. He wants to be with you but you don't want to be with him, so it seems."

"But I want to be with him."

"You said yourself that this wasn't a date. Didn't you see the look on his face? He doesn't want to try anymore. He's not going to ran after you the rest of his life. He just wants to settle down with someone who loves him and he loves."

"And how do you want to know this?"

"He talks a lot when he's drunk."

I just stared at him open mouthed so he continued.

"I think he's drinking a lot lately. After Sarah left and Warrick died he seemed so…not himself anymore. Every time I see him he looks said. I always asked him out for breakfast but he refused. So one day before he left I took him in a bar and we drank. Did you know that he can drink more than I without falling over his own feet? Anyway, we do this every Sunday since than and he told me a lot. About his childhood; his parents; but most about you. He never said it but I know that he loves you. He's just too tired to try anymore."

"He wants to be happy again Catherine. He could be happy with her. Although he gave up on having a relationship with you he doesn't want to give up your friendship. He needs you in his life."

Maybe Nick is right. I hurt him enough. I have to stop playing with him. Every time I make a step forward I make two back and every time he tried to step forward I didn't let him. It's time to be his friend and help him. I want him to be happy, even it's not with me.

"Let's go back to the party Nick. But hold Henry out of my way."

"I knew you wouldn't like him."


	5. Chapter 5

Secret Love

It's five months since the Christmas party. Gil and Bethany are living together and he really seems happy. He's always smiling and he doesn't pull double shifts anymore. He arrives on time and goes on time. We meet every Thursday and have breakfast together. We talk about Lindsey, Bethany and on weekends we all; Gil, Bethany, Lindsey and I; have a special day. We meet for dinner, go in the cinema, swimming and shopping. Although Gil hates it he comes with us.

First Lindsey was really mad that Gil and Bethany became a couple and not I and he. But she likes her, and I have to admit that I like Bethany too. She has the same hobbies as I and we laugh about the same things. We're a lot like each other. But the most important thing I like her is that Gil is now happy. And she doesn't mind that we do a lot together.

It's Thursday again and Gil sits on my bank in the garden behind the house. We drink wine and I tell him about Lindseys plans for the future.

"She wants to study here in Vegas. Medicine. I don't know why but I think it's good."

His eyes lit up and I'm sure he's happy because Lindsey wants to stay near.

"That's great. Did she write them? If she needs any help she just has to ask I would love to help her."

"She wanted to do this herself. I'm not aloud to help either."

"She has this from you."

"What?"

"She's strong. She wants make all by herself because she knows she can do it. I always was impressed by this"

"You were? I mean you don't want any help either."

"Maybe, but I never believed in me the way you believe in yourself."

"That's bullshit Gil."

He doesn't want to about this anymore. But I sense that there is something he wants to tell me.

"What's wrong Gil? A fight with Bethany?"

"No, but…"

"You can tell me everything Gil."

I lay my hand on his and feel him stiffen, my heart begins to beat faster and I curse myself. The last months I tried desperately not to touch him. My response to him hasn't changed and he always backs away when I touch him. I withdrew my hand and wait for him to continue.

"Bethany is pregnant."

I see that his lips are twitching into a smile and he beams at me.

"I'm becoming a dad, Cath. Can you believe this?"

No I couldn't believe it. Although I learned to hide my hurt and jealousy ever time I think about them or see them, I always hoped secretly that he sees how much I love him and leaves her to be with me. Now my hope is destroyed and I feel that his look is getting more worried. I have to be happy for him. Smile, Catherine, smile. I don't want to disappoint him.

"That's so great Gil."

I stand up because he's standing now and hug him. I hold him close and doesn't let go. Tears ran down my face but I don't want him to see them.

"That's so great, Gil, so great. I'm so happy for you."

It isn't a lie. I am happy for him. He always wanted children on his own. He's good with them and I'm sure that he would be a great dad, he was it for Lindsey. In his heart and in mine she is daughter and I know that in Lindsey's heart he's her dad.

I want to kiss his cheek but I got to close to his mouth and suddenly our eyes lock. His eyes wander to my lips and back and I wet my lip with my tongue. I can't breath and I think he feels the same in this moment. I don't know who started but suddenly we kiss, really kiss each other and we aren't hugging each other anymore, we're exploring. I know that this is wrong because he's with Bethany but it feels so right at the same moment. I should stop. I shouldn't do this. We shouldn't do this. Now he kisses my neck and hoists me up. I drew my legs around his hips and he carries me to the couch. His hands are under my t-shirt and I when I opened his shirt I ran my fingers over his chest. My hands go to his belt and in this moment he remembers that he's with Bethany, that she's pregnant and he's kissing another woman.

He pushes my hands away and stands quickly up. We look at each other ad nobody knows what to say.

"I'm sorry Cath…I…I don't know what came into me. I'm sorry. I shouldn't put you in this position."

"No Gil I'm sorry, It was my fault I'm so…"

I can't speak anymore because now his lips are on mine again and we stumble back to the couch. I can feel his erection against my tight and this is the point where I just stop thinking.

He drew away. Again. It's so cold without him.

"I'm sorry Cath. I should go. This…this isn't right."

"It's okay Gil we…"

"NO! It's not okay! We're going to marry Cath. We're going to be a family. I should be happy! I shouldn't kiss you; I should be with here right now. She trusts me. She trusts us."

"Gil…please…"

"I don't know why I did this. I thought I'm over you."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No Gil, You said, you thought you were over me. What do you mean with this?"

"I love you Cath. I've always loved you. I always wanted to be with you, but….you never…and this isn't right. I should go. I'm sorry Cath. I hope that this doesn't destroy our friendship."

He turns to leave and I know that this is the moment. I have to tell what I feel.

"I love you, too, Gil. I've always loved. I was just scared that you wouldn't feel the same. Gil, please don't go."

"It doesn't matter anymore Cath. I can't leave her. I can't leave my baby."

"I understand Gil, I really do. And I know that we can't be together. But I want you at least as my best friend. I can't lose you."

"You won't"

His arms are around me again and I know that he has to fight against the urge to kiss me again, just like me. It's said but I have to laugh because in a stupid way it's also funny.

"Why do you laugh?"

"Because we're both fucked up."

He giggles.

"Yeah, a little."

We smile and he turns.

"Can this be our little secret?"

"I won't tell Gil."

"Thank you."

He leaves and I feel like my cheeks get wet as the hot tears run down. This was the only time I would feel his lips on mine or his arms around me. We both had to be careful not to touch each other. But at least we would remains friend, I hope.

The clock says it's seven. I have to get Lindsey from school. The whole way to her school I have to think about this kiss, about Gil and our love that we could never live.

There is a bright light beside and I turn me head to look what it is. It's a car, a big car, and it comes directly to me. I hear a crash and a scream and the light goes away. It becomes dark and I'm tired, really tired. I would sleep two minutes and then get Lindsey.


	6. Chapter 6

Goodbye

When the hospital called I picked up the phone. Tears run down my face and when he arrived I sat crying on the couch trying to tell him what happened. He screamed, cried, not believing anything what I told him. He ran out, driving away. Hours later he went to the hospital seeing Lindsey in the waiting room. He sat beside her and took her in his arms. They sat there, not speaking, not crying. They didn't move, they just hoped, hoped that this wasn't the end.

I don't know how they survived the whole day sitting there, not eating not drinking. They just sat and although I was worried I knew they needed this. They needed to do nothing, they had to just sit there and hope. And I hoped, too.

In the beginning I didn't like her. I knew he loved her. I felt it, saw it. And it nearly destroyed me. But I know that he loves me, too. Not the way he loves her. Of course not. He could never love anyone so much like he loved her. But he loved me so much that he wanted to be with me, he wanted a family and he wanted to be just her friend, nothing more.

Every time they were together, eating breakfast, walking Hank, I feared that I could lose him. I didn't want to lose him, so I did the one thing I thought would glue him to me. I stopped taking the pill. And I was pregnant. Pregnant with his child. A baby I don't really wanted. I thought when I'm pregnant I would want it, but I was wrong. And now I know that I could never make him mine. He would always be hers. And even if we would marry, if we would be a family, he would be hers.

I made a lot of mistakes. I'm carrying a baby I don't want. I took a man who isn't mine. I took his chance be complete, to be happy. I have to fix this. When our baby was born I'd be gone. I knew he wanted the baby, so I wasn't going to take it with me. Lindsey is his daughter in heart; I knew he wanted to be with her during this. So she'd be staying with us. And I'm not going to marry him. I can't. He's not mine.

They are in the hospital again. Our baby girl was born today. I'm sitting in her room, ready to go, ready to leave him, ready to give him the chance to be happy.

"Take good care of him." I whisper to her sleeping form.

It's eight months now and she didn't wake up. I know she'll wake up. She has to. She wouldn't leave him alone. Although I could, she never could. She never would. She loved him before me and she'll love him after me. Hell she loved him during me. She'll never stop.

I wanted to say goodbye to May but I don't think it would be good. It would be wrong to say goodbye to her when I wanted to never come back again. I know he'll forgive me, he'll make her happy. I couldn't do it, but he can.

I call a cap and tears run down my face. I'm never going to see him again. I can't. It wouldn't be right.

"I love you Gil." I whisper and although I know that he can't hear me I know that he knows.

It's the last time I'll be really happy, but it's the first time I've done anything right.


	7. Chapter 7

Sleeping Beauty

Someone is there. I hear voices. A man says something and I hear a little girl giggle. I don't remember her voice but I know man the other voice belongs to. I want to open my eyes and look at him but I can't. I'm too tired. So I just lie there and hear what they are talking about.

"She's beautiful, daddy."

That was the little girl again. But who is she calling daddy? The man doesn't have a kid. Maybe there is another one in the room.

"Yeah, she is. A sleeping beauty."

No, there are just the two. But why is she calling him daddy? What's his name again? Something with G…Grissom…Gil! Gil Grissom! I think my head just exploded. I remember everything again. Me loving him, him loving Bethany. Him being happy, Bethany being pregnant, us kissing, me driving for Lindsey. The light, the scream, the darkness. I try again to open my eyes and now it works.

Gil is sitting in the chair beside me reading a book. Bridge to Terabithia. I know this book. We watched the film and he cried. I have to smile, but when I see the girl my smile goes away. How long did I sleep? She looked like she was two, maybe three. She had long curled blond hair and big blue eyes. Her eyes she had from Gil. And the nose. She has everything from him. Expect the hair colour. Definitely Bethany's. But where is she? And where is Lindsey? If Gil and Bethany's daughter is two or three, three or four years have to be gone. She would be at a college now. My eyes get tired again and I close them.

I feel a little soft hand on my cheek. I hope she doesn't know that I'm awake. I not ready to handle every thin yet.

"Wake up aunt Catherine. Daddy is really sad because you sleep so much."

"Who said I'm sad May Belle?"

"Linds did. She says you miss her."

"We all miss her May."

He strokes my cheek. I try to remain silent, but after these years y reaction to him hasn't changed. His hand his soft and cool and I remember how it felt against my stomach, how he held my face near when he kissed me. I try not to think about it. He's married to Bethany and has a beautiful baby girl with her.

The girl jumps from the chair and I think she went to window. I feel Gil's hot breath against my cheek and feel his lips brushing my cheek while he says something to me.

"I need you Cath. Please come back."

He kisses my cheek and lingers. I wish he'd kiss me again. I can't hide again. I open my eyes and look directly into his. He smiles and I'm glad I'm lying in this bed because I'm sure my knees just disappeared.

"Good morning, my sleeping beauty."


	8. Chapter 8

Back in life

„Good morning, my sleeping beauty."

„Hey."

My voice sounds horrible. I can barley hear myself but I know that he heard me because he smiles even more and his eyes become wet.

"You were gone a long time."

I smile back and I hear noise beside me. I turn my head and there sits the little girl. She looks at me curious and bends her head a little to the side.

"Hello aunt Catherine. I'm May Belle. Daddy said you were really tired. I'm tired too sometimes and than daddy or Lindsey read a story to me so I can sleep better. Daddy said you slept even before I was born."

"Make a break May, aunt Catherine just woke up. Why don't you go and search Jess, I'm sure he wants to play with you."

"But I want to play with aunt Catherine."

"Honey, aunt Catherine…"

"I'll play with you later okay? I promise."

May Belle smiled and jumped of the chair.

"Be careful."

"Yes daddy."

She vanished threw the door and left me alone with Gil.

"She's beautiful."

"Yeah. She is. You want me to call a nurse?"

"No, no. It's okay. Where's Lindsey?"

"College. She studies medicine. And she's really good."

"Was she with my sister?"

"No, I took her."

"Bethany said nothing?"

"She understood."

"where is she now?"

"I don't know. She left. Right after she gave birth to May."

"Why?"

He gave me letter.

"Read yourself."

_Dear Gil, _

_I love you with all my heart and although it destroys me I know that this is right._

_I know that I can't never make you smile the way she makes you smile. _

_I know that you can't ever look at me the same way you look at her._

_I know that I can't make you happy the way she can._

_I've never been happy before I met you and I'll never be this happy again. _

_I love you and I know that if you love somebody so much how I love you you do everything to make this someone happy. _

_It's the only way to make you happy, Gil. _

_I can't take May with me. You and make her happier than I ever could._

_I hope you'll forgive me someday. _

_I know she's going to wake up, you just have to wait. _

_I know you're going to be happy and if you are I am too. _

_I can't stay and say goodbye because this would be to much to ask. But this is the least I can do._

_Always loving you_

_Bethany_

"She's gone?"

"Yeah."

"She really loves you. I wanted you too to be happy. I thought you'd be happy with her. You looked happy."

"Because you were there. And now you're back. And I can be happy again. I know that this is fast but Catherine I don't want to waste another second. As soon as you can go out I never want to leave your side again. I want us to live together, to be together. Marry me Catherine. Can't live without you. I love you."

I barley heard the _I love you _but how could I deny his request? We both wanted the same.

"You had me with _Because you were there_."

He bends towards me and this time our kiss was right.


	9. Chapter 9

Happy Ending

„May! Bobby!"

I look at the mess in the kitchen and wonder how every time they manage to surprise me.

"Mom?"

May Belle stood in the door with Bobby's little hand in hers. She's five now. Gil and I were both surprised that soon after we moved together I was pregnant. Bobby, Robert Owen Grissom, was one and a half by now. The twins, Lukas James and Bethany Willow, are the youngest of our crowd and were the biggest surprise of all. Gil and I felt a need to thank Bethany for all she's done for our love, so we named our baby girl after her. May soon began to call me mom, of course she knows that her real mother left her, but she's not mad at her. She's really bright for her age and understands that her mommy had done the right thing.

"Who's fault was this?" I point at the floor were the cake I made an hour ago lay on the floor.

"It was an accident mom; Bobby just wanted to drink something."

She loved her little brother and always protected him, even from me and Gil. He was so clumsy. Always he fell or threw something down. But May always protected him from the trouble he would get.

His big blue eyes were just like hers and they began to fill with water and his bottom lip trembled. I become always so soft when they both look at me with these puppy dog eyes. This they have from their dad.

"It's okay you two. Mommy isn't mad. We can make another one. You two just have to help me."

And there was this smile again, this smile they had from their father. She heard the door open and close. May's and Bobby's eyes lit up and they jumped up.

"Daddy's home."

And they vanished. Gil was so good with the children. They adored him and he even quit his job at the lab. He's a tutor now at the college Lindsey studies. She has to make one year and than she can work in a hospital. Soon she would be a real doctor. Lindsey, too, called Gil dad and the first time she did it he had to cry because he was so happy.

I heard May and Bobby scream and laugh in delight, they ran away and back in their room. My helpers were gone again.

Two strong arms came around my waist and Gil nestles his nose in my hair.

"Hello, darling."

His hot breath against my skin send shivers along my spine. Although we're now married and he does his every time he comes home I can't help myself but melt.

"Hey."

I turn and kiss him fully on the lips.

"Ew…mom not here. You have guests."

I release Gil and look to Lindsey. She show big now, she's a woman now, but Gil and I always call her our little girl. Beside stands a tall man with dark brown hair and beautiful blue eyes. He look a little bit like Gil and he behaves sometimes exactly like him. Like mother like daughter.

"Linds, Ben, good to see you both. How are you?"

"We're good mom, you need a hand?"

"No, you can go and play with the kids; they were waiting for you the whole time. I have Gil to help me."

He sighs but I know that he likes spending the time with me, even if we stay in the kitchen and cook.

"I think Benjamin is going to propose to her."

Gil says when they left the kitchen.

"I hope so. He makes her happy and everybody likes him. How long are they a couple now? Three or four years?"

"I think so, but I don't like my little girl to marry. That means she's a woman. I don't want her to be this big. Why can't she be little like May and Bobby? Or the twins?"

I have to laugh. He's so cute when he pouts.

"Oh Gil, you know she'll always be our little girl, even if her hair is grey and she's a grandma."

"I don't think we will live at this time. We would be way too old."

He goes out and I think that I lost another helper but than he comes back with Luke and Beth in his arms.

"I think they are hungry. What do you say, Luke? You want something to eat? A steak maybe? How about a bear?"

"Gil!"

"Oops, I think I scared mommy."

Luke giggles and I take him from his arms. He has red hair like me and Lindsey. Gil says that he look exactly like me, so would Beth. But the hair she had from her father. That was sure.

"And what do you want little princess?"

She tries to grab his nose with her little fingers and says something neither of us understands.

"You're just like your mommy, aren't ya? You can't help but speak the whole time."

I thank God every day that he let me live. I'm so happy. I love my husband and my kids. I love my live and no matter where Bethany is right now, I love her for letting me be happy. I hope that she's happy, too. I wish that everybody could feel what I' feeling every time I'm with my family.

Love. Love and happiness.


End file.
